Driving today.

Today I'm driving and see an old lady driving in front of me with hair so white it looked invisible. I could tell by looking at her reflection in her rearview that she had on those really thick, dark sunglasses that are otherwise used for welders. Naturally she was driving this bigass Crown Victoria; and of course it's big as a fucking Swift boat, just what she needs.

All is well and she's in the fast lane doing about 40 mph in a 65 mph zone. So, I try to get in the "slow lane" to pass her and as I do she jumps in front of me and cuts me off like I'm the invisible fucking man. By this time, I'm wound up tighter than a bull's asshole during fly season. I mean, I'm furious at this old fart.

Don't get me wrong because I respect old people, I just don't respect stupid people. So I get back in the "fast lane" and after playing dancing lanes with this old bitch, I finally get around her. As I'm passing her she FLICKS ME OFF ! Can you believe that? What a fucking douchelog. An old lady about 70 years old flicks me off when she was the one pokin up the fuckin road in the passing lane! I made no gestures whatsoever to provoke her to do that to me. If I had it to do over again, I would've told my brother to grab the wheel while I stuck my now puckered asshole up against the window and cut a huge fart. Then watch it steam up and write, "Fuck you, whifflehump" on it.

I propose to the Government that they start issuing annual driving tests to people over the age of 65. I think these tests should be full on examinations; hearing, vision, the physical driving test, written test, stool sample, bloodwork, you name it.

If they fail, someone should escort them to the front counter where they would systematically have their drivers license snatched out of their whithered fucking hands and cut up right before their very eyes. Then get the resident DMV idiot to throw it back at them while screaming, "YOU WILL NEVER DRIVE AGAIN, YOU FUCKING TOOL!"

I'm out for the night.
Love,
Musclenut