move it along

So, I go out to 7-11 for a coffee just now and I go in, get my can of altoids and get back in my car. This 7-11 has a gas station behind the parking spots in front of the store. So, I'm backing out and I get ready to leave when this fuckpile of a man with a red shirt starts walking from the pump to the store (which means he'll have to walk in front of me) to get his coffee and pay the doofus at the counter for his gas.

I wave him in front of me (to be a nice guy) and he literally walked so slow I thought he was moving in goddamn reverse. It was like something out of a SciFi thriller.

I don't like to bitch, (actually I do) but trying to be nice and letting this guy go in front of me was the wrong fucking decision for me. I figured he was in a hurry to get to work the way he jumped in front of my car to go into 7-11, which I can understand. Man was I wrong.

Why do people do shit like that? If you're going to act like you're in a hurry, move it the fuck along. It's like having sex faster than a fucking wild bunny and then pulling out only to spend the next thirty minutes slowly stroking yourself until you've finished. Cock massage?

Anyways, by the time he gets out of my way, there are three cars lined up coming in and one guy behing me blowing his horn so he can get the spot I was backing out of at the time. What the fuck! Is he blind? I could write a seperate entry about that douchewaffle.

Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't in a hurry this morning by a long shot. I simply wanted this lardass to move his fucking feet a little faster. He should've put a shell on his back and got down on the ground and crawled into 7-11. That would've made more sense.

My point is simple; If you're going to jump in front of my car to get in the store quicker, pick them the fuck up and put them the fuck down. I don't mind letting you cross, but move it the fuck along, turtle.

Later,
Musclenut.